Why "Forced Bi"?

My sexuality has evolved over the years. I've examined and reexamined my psyche to figure out what makes me tick because I like to know the why's of things.

I'm comfortable enough now to admit I have a bi-side...but...it has to be in context. Just looking at a guy doesn't do anything for me (although pretty sissies and shemales most definitely does!) but if I am feminized and submissive and under control, ie being 'forced' to do so I squirm and ache and yearn for it with all of my sissy heart.

The outside and cynical observer will and has claimed that 'forced bi', like 'forced fem', is just an excuse the submissive male needs to act out bi or gay tendencies to alleviate any guilt or shame the male may feel from those tendencies. A way for the psyche to rationalize what he is doing. And for some male subs, for all I know that may even be the case. But I think its wrong to generalize and thereby dismiss fetish people like this: put them all in some pat and easy to understand box. I think reality is a lot more complex than this.

I can't speak for all subs, but I can speak for myself, and I know its nowhere near that simple. My sexuality...my submissiveness, my forced fem desires, my forced bi, they all derive from a deep need to be wanted. Loved. Secure. If someone goes to all of that trouble to keep me (feminize, dominate, enslave) and not let me go, they must REALLY really want me. And my inner self feels warm and safe and loved.

Everything else--the dressing, the rituals, the protocols etc etc are just externalizations of that deep basic human need. The means to an end.

When I was a child my mind made the equation that being kept in female clothes was just like bondage. Put me in a dress, take my male clothes away, and I'm helpless to run away, I'm trapped. As I grew older these sexual thoughts evolved, almost like a natural progression. Being dressed up was only one layer of mental bondage...being forced to act the part of female, to pretend my male side did not even exist was another. To surrender my sexuality, be taken with a strap-on dildo was another.

To be forced to submit to a real man...only the next logical step. How far down the rabbit hole can I go, how many more mental chains can be wrapped around me to increase those feelings of being loved and wanted and kept.

To be wanted that much....by men AND women? *shivers*

It took years for my sexuality to evolve to this point. Things that started as the deepest darkest fantasies of my teenage years now come to full bloom as an adult as I began to live some of them out.

I am at my happiest when I am fully feminized and subservient and being dominated and controlled. Owned. It is the hottest, most erotic thing in the world to me as well as the warmest, safest mindspace I can be in. The further down the rabbit hole, the happier I am.

Its utterly utterly addicting. If I didn't have to slave away in the real world I would live like this, if I could.

So yes...I can admit now, I am bi. In context. In the outer world? No, I am not. But as Tia?

Fuck yes. *deep red blush*

Tia wants not only to suck cock and be fucked by one, she wants to be seduced by a man. Touched all over by one, caressed, held down, overpowered by one. Kissed. Long, deep kisses where I melt into it and feel myself far down in that deep mindspace of being so utterly and beautifully feminized that I am lovingly imprisoned in that role. I want to feel strong hands trace their way all around every curve of my body. To surrender, body and soul. Feel that hot hard cock on my asscheeks...shiver with the knowledge that *I*...me of all people!..made him hard and am about to be fucked..

Call him Master.

I want to feel pretty and desired by a man. Even though I know I'm not and nowhere near passable, I need to feel it. To try to believe that someone else thinks I am. To be wanted and kept this way.

That's the heart of the fetish to me. So far down the rabbit hole, to become a wanted and kept sextoy to both men and women, to fulfill that basic desire to be desired.

My own sissy heaven.

Strapon Therapy

Its been a brutal last few weeks at work as my busy season hits its peak, working 6 days a week, 60+ hours a week or more. I haven't been able to spend much time with Mistress, and what time off I've had has been running errands and doing drudge chores and all of that other mundane day-to-day stuff that you do as a part of life. Add to that more than a bit of depression, and worry about how I am going to pay my bills and make ends meet when the season ends on November and I become once again almost-but-not-quite unemployed.

So my libido has been suffering quite a bit...all the time at work seemingly filling up my life, becoming my life and taking it over for all intents and purposes. And despite being a submissive and sexual sissy I have this kind of macho thing where I bottle up all of these problems and dark feelings so as not to let them affect those I love. Mistress has plenty on her own plate without me adding to them: its better to just be stoic about it.

But there's only so much pressure one can take, and a couple of days ago some of the cracks began to show. I opened up to Mistress about all of what I was feeling, the insecurities and worries, the feelings of disconnect and isolation. We spent some time cuddling and making the pain go away, reconnecting with each other.

And then the next night, after another 10 hour workday she decided to reteach me what my *real* life is--that is, being her feminized sissy slave. Reality, not fantasy.

It wasn't elaborate...I wasn't made up or dressed in anything really exciting (like the photo above, taken from our video "Tia Transformed & Taken"). Just a sissy-ish baby blue tshirt and matching thong.

I wasn't feeling particularly pretty either...I'm all hairy now, there really hasn't been much in the way of time over the past three months for shaving or much in the way of feminine maintenance. But the exterior stuff....didn't seem to matter. Once Mistress put on her strap-on and made me suck it, and beg for it, and be fucked with it deep and hard and powerful, her taking me roughly and grabbing my hair and holding me by the throat, or pinning my hands behind my back as she fucked me and made me admit to how much I loved her cock, how much I wanted nothing more in life than to service her cock and anyone else she chooses as her sissy whore...I melted beneath her, feeling her body shudder with pleasure as she had several orgasms from fucking me...I felt my body open up with total sissy whorish abandon, wanting it more and more....my cockette totally frustrated & ignored but being in total acceptance of that, and surrender to it.

Wanting her to use me as her girl now and forever.

So hot. So frustrated right now writing this, still in the same panties, feeling my legs and ass muscles ache and clench and want to be taken all over again...

Yes. I'm feeling much better now. :)

Thank you Mistress, for putting me in my place and making me see once again that this is my real life, my life as your slave, and it is oh so sweet.

Please Fuck My Wife While My Prostate Is Milked!

Dylan is a highly sexed woman and her husband Lance is just not enough cock for this sex crazed amazon. While they are out to dinner Dylan suggests bringing home the cute couple sitting behind them at the restaurant but Lance is having none of it. Many glasses of wine later the couple, Christian and Madeline end up back at Dylan's place and all three of them cuckold Dylan's husband together! The cuckolding is HOT and the humiliation of being cuckolding by three people is evil but that's not even the best part! While Lance is made to watch his wife fuck another man Madeline puts him in chastity and milks his prostate. It was so overwhelming that he shoots a fat load in his chastity belt without ever getting hard, TWICE!!! His dick can't lie and now we all know that he actually gets off on watching over men pleasure his wife even though he keeps completely denying it!

Cuckholded, sodomized, and forever enslaved...

Francesca's loving husband puts together a surprise celebration for her birthday complete with champagne, cake and presents. Unbeknownst to her he has also set up the best present a woman could ever ask for, a hot sexy stud with a rock hard cock ready to give her all the orgasms and pleasure she deserves! Francesca and Henry are totally in love yet they both accept the fact that he can't please her sexually so Henry's boss Christian is the man for the job! Francesca locks her husbands cock away in chastity and whips, spanks and tortures his balls in front of Christian. She humiliates Henry by sucking Christian's cock then spits her cock laced saliva all over Henry's face and chastity belt. Henry is fucked in the ass while he is unwillingly made to suck his bosses cock to get it ready for his wife to fuck. Finally Francesca rides Christian's dick while her husband is made to watch every orgasm. Francesca takes Christian's full load into her mouth then spits his man juice all over her husbands face while he is made to tell her Happy Birthday!

Playing 'Doctor', Femdom-style

Many years ago, when I was a young teenage boy, just starting to figure out my sexuality, I had my first Femdom experiences with my best friend's two sisters across town.

I think I was 13, 14 at most. Their ages were 12 and 10 I want to say? Its hard to remember. And at that age the age difference is a big thing, maybe an uncomfortable age difference tantamount to child abuse to my now-adult mind and conscience. Its why I never told this story to anyone other than Mistress until writing this.

And if that disturbs anyone, I apologize...but its naive for us to stick our heads in the sand and try to pretend that children are NOT sexually experimenting at that age. There's a reason why "Playing Doctor" and "You show me yours and I'll show you mine" are such common stories/experiences.

My "Playing Doctor" game just happened to take a more Femdom route, is all.

I'm not going to deny it, I was 'topping from the bottom' as it were. But only at the beginning. I was older, a little smarter, and honestly more than bit manipulative at that age. I happened to be alone with the two sisters, and we were playing some game or other (I forget what it was now) and I casually made the suggestion that we gamble on who was going to win the game, and the loser would be forced to do anything the winner said.

The girls liked the idea...and I made quite sure I lost the bet, much to their delight.

You win. Now...what do you want me to do?

Kiss your feet?

And with that, the idea was planted right in their minds that yes, yes they wanted this older boy to grovel before them and kiss their feet, each taking turns having me crawl to her and do so.

You're not going to have me lick your shoes clean, are you?

And that's all of the prompting it took. Both girls thrilled to the newfound power they held over me, especially the younger one, and from that point forward whenever any of us were alone together that summer I obeyed their every command. The pretense of 'losing a bet' wasn't even needed after that first time.

And the youngest sister...my god.....did she get off on humiliating me....I remember one occasion, she forcefully took my hand and led me away in private, told me to get down on my knees and said "I have a Girl Scout meeting soon. I can't go to it with dirty shoes now, can I?" and had me lick her tennis shoes all over to her satisfaction before leaving to go to that meeting, leaving me dazed and aching and humbled by the fierceness in her.

The older girl...the novelty soon wore off, although one time she did enjoy taking me down in her parents basement, ordering me to lie on my back and be dry humped to my frustration by her, while her sister had me kiss her feet and ass the entire time. She even spanked me with a broom when I wasn't obeying fast enough.

I was playing with fire that summer. I don't know how it could have ended in anything other than discovery and scandal. I was helplessly drawn to them, to ache for them, to humiliate myself before them for their entertainment and pleasure. The same look of domme-space and power that I see in my Mistress today is the same look the younger sister had so many years ago, ordering me to kiss her ass and telling her sister "He does anything I tell him to do...", so sexually charged and full of the rush of power.

Perhaps fortunately for me our Femdom games were not discovered. Fate intervened. At that same period of my life I was engaged in petty street crime with their brother, the friend who I ostensibly was over at that house to see in the first place. Since we weren't exactly criminal masterminds we were caught, our parents fined, and we weren't allowed to be friends anymore from that point on.

If that had not occurred....I don't know how much further it would have gone with the girls and me. For years afterward, until I started having real sex with my first girlfriend it was the hottest thing I had ever done in my life...my first sexual play ever, and it was as a slave, a submissive male who longed for nothing more than to be dominated and controlled by Women.

It wasn't experimenting or play-acting to me. It was an epiphany, a realization that this is who I am. This is what I was meant to be.

I wonder sometimes, if the girls remember our games that summer and if it affected them in any way. They were willing, even eager participants even it was my idea and my suggestion at first. Did it warp them, scar them for life...or empower them?

Are there two Mistresses out there right now, toying and playing and dominating men for their pleasure as adults thanks to me?



Figurative ass-kissing

I call written worship, things like letters of adoration, "figurative ass kissing". You know, as opposed to literal ass kissing, which would be when someone's face is pressed against my ass, lavishing it with kisses and licks and...you get the picture.

I like both kinds and Tia has standing orders to send me a written thank-you at certain times. Like every time I use him sexually, whether he's allowed to cum or not. It's like the dom equivalent of maintenance spankings for me. Waking up to this in my inbox helps keep me in my happy place:

Just wanted to write and thank you for using my slutty body last night Mistress... Oh...ohhhh it felt so good to be fucked by you, to give you an orgasm with your cock buried deep inside my slutty ass. It was so hard to not cum myself... I cannot remember the last time I was allowed to cum even remotely close to being a 'real man'. For the past few months I think I haven't been, and my body is being retrained to only have sex as your girl....and that thought makes me squirm and ache and shiver. It felt so powerful last night...you grabbing my hips, my hair, taking me roughly, leaving me no doubt that I was your bitch and you are in charge. And all I can do is sit here and ache for more today... --your sissy

Using and abusing the maid

StraponTales @ FerroNetwork

I cant make out what they're saying but its still hot to watch this domina bend her sissy maid over the table and fuck her senseless! ;)