Figurative ass-kissing

I call written worship, things like letters of adoration, "figurative ass kissing". You know, as opposed to literal ass kissing, which would be when someone's face is pressed against my ass, lavishing it with kisses and licks and...you get the picture.

I like both kinds and Tia has standing orders to send me a written thank-you at certain times. Like every time I use him sexually, whether he's allowed to cum or not. It's like the dom equivalent of maintenance spankings for me. Waking up to this in my inbox helps keep me in my happy place:

Just wanted to write and thank you for using my slutty body last night Mistress... Oh...ohhhh it felt so good to be fucked by you, to give you an orgasm with your cock buried deep inside my slutty ass. It was so hard to not cum myself... I cannot remember the last time I was allowed to cum even remotely close to being a 'real man'. For the past few months I think I haven't been, and my body is being retrained to only have sex as your girl....and that thought makes me squirm and ache and shiver. It felt so powerful last night...you grabbing my hips, my hair, taking me roughly, leaving me no doubt that I was your bitch and you are in charge. And all I can do is sit here and ache for more today... --your sissy

Turning a Corner

We quarreled again. And again, and again. And then he gave me a present. It was a porn movie. It occurs to me now that perhaps most women would not go all melty upon being given a porn movie, especially as a making-up-after-fighting gift. But for me, it was PERFECT.

We'd shot some video one night that had been screwed up because I forgot to turn the microphone on. He took that footage and turned it into a hilarious silent movie, complete with old-timey film effects and music. When he showed it to me I laughed my ass off the whole way through. Which I think was all he really cared about, making me laugh, but the gift was so much more too. And the more I thought about it the more perfect it was.

There are so many layers to it. On the most obvious level it reminded me of everything good about our relationship. All the laughter and silliness we've shared, the oh-so-delicious sexy play times, the way we've worked as a team. It told me like nothing else could that he wants to be my slave, that he wants just as badly as I do to get back to our "normal" life of perversion and pornmaking.

On an even deeper level it spoke to my Mistressly pride, which has been rather bruised lately. I know how many hours he spent working on it, and knowing how much actual work he would put into this gesture tells me that I can still count on him, even when it takes real effort. Beyond that he had to learn a new skill (video editing) to do it. Which tells me he's still willing to push past his boundaries, get out of his comfort zone and learn new things for me. These things are vital for the health of our Mistress/slave dynamic. I love him...adore him...and would want to be his friend and lover whether he were my 'slave' or not. But if we are to call this slavery then it has to mean something. I have to feel that he IS going to do his best to obey me, to give me what I want, no matter what I ask for. This demonstration that he's willing to work hard & learn new skills is exactly the proof my wounded heart was longing for.

There are other facets to it as well. I'll be able to use the video as the required monthly update on my clips4sale sites, so it spares me the work and worry of coming up with something myself. In this regard it's a seriously useful gift. I'll have a happy glow all month thinking of how I don't have to do that work thanks to him. And I have loved seeing his delight in not only learning something new, but in feeling like he's good at it. These past months of near-unemployment, being utterly broke and feeling unable to even help with the DIY work, have taken a toll on my pet's self-esteem. It makes my heart sing to see him sparked with gleeful optimism for a change.

I could probably go on all day about how many ways this porn-present delights me. But I have to get back to work; the long haul of turning sandpit manor into a lovely little home(cage) for my pet is not finished and the deadline is looming. But I think we've turned a corner now and for the first time in weeks I am looking toward the end with a heart full of hope instead of despair.

Welcome to Sandpit Manor

My life's taken a radical turn lately, away from domming and mom-ing and into previously uncharted realms of home repair and d.i.y. work. A combination of factors (but mainly us being at the lower end of the 99%) have made it necessary for Tia to move. We've been renting a house together for the past three years, with him living in the main part while I use a converted garage & Florida room as my 'studio'. I'd been doing my pro dom sessions and crossdresser makeovers there, and we shoot our amateur femdom porn all over the house. The plan now is for him to move from this place into a smaller, more affordable one. It's guaranteed to be more affordable because the place he's moving into is a mobile home owned by my husband Izzy.

This seemed like a good idea at the time.


Calling this place a mobile home is really giving it pretensions of grandeur; a trailer is what it is and Izzy and I had affectionately dubbed it 'Sandpit Manor' when we lived there back in the days before children. The moniker became even more apt after we moved out and the place was occupied by my brother. My 20-something pothead slacker brother. And many of his {ahem} artistic friends.

They had some very interesting notions of decor. There were tiny shelves made of scrap lumber scattered randomly all over the place. Every available surface was covered with graffiti. And what repairs were made...well, let's just say duct tape figured heavily in my brother's toolbox. They left the place quite full of junk too: furniture, clothes, a closet full of hundreds of old laserdisks. Some of the more interesting items included 2 bongs, a sack of pipe pieces, a digital postal scale, a deck of naked lady playing cards, and a whole pack of cream cheese under a mattress.

That one really threw me a swerve. Given the lifestyle of the house's inhabitants finding food outside the kitchen was to be expected. And cream cheese in the bedroom? It is a standard breakfast condiment; perhaps someone enjoyed having breakfast in bed. It's also not so far from whipped cream or chocolate sauce; I could even imagine a substitution being made in a moment of intoxicated lust. But what on earth made it seem like a good idea to hide it under the mattress?



I've decided to leave the bowling balls whimsically perched in the trees outside. But between the damage done by its former inhabitants and the normal ravages of age the rest of sandpit manor requires some major repair work. So far we've gutted the bathroom, including tearing out the floor & rebuilding it from the joists up, ripped out several other walls and most of the ceiling, and repaired or replaced every single window crank & light fixture in the place. Well, I say 'we' but the fact is I'm doing 70% of the work myself. Izzy is unavailable to help most days and Tia? While not exactly hopeless in the d.i.y department, he started off not being entirely sure of the difference between a flat and phillips head screwdriver. There's been a real steep learning curve to deal with there.

On the one hand I have become a veritable d.i.y. goddess. I pwned those windows and after rebuilding that rotted floor I feel like there isn't much I couldn't accomplish with the right power tools. For the most part I enjoy this sort of work. And it's a HUGE relief to take a break from all the (draining for me) socializing that goes with my job(s) in the sex industry.

On the other hand, what seemed like a good idea at the time may turn out to be a disaster for my relationship with Tia.

In my fantasies he's prancing around in some super cute booty shorts, striped thigh-high socks and a pink tool belt, happily spackling and fetching things and admiring my prowess with power tools. And I stride around competently getting shit done while taking frequent breaks to sexually harass my underling. In reality things are dirty and sweaty and difficult, with more fumbling and cursing than cheerful competence on my part. The work is physically hard, it's tiring, and thanks to my stupid fibromyalgia it fucking hurts. A lot of the time I don't feel much like a goddess.

Tia's issues don't help. He feels inept and clumsy, and the sheer ickiness of the work offends his fastidiousness mightily. He's depressed about moving at all and the prospect of moving into a run-down trailer with all kinds of repair issues doesn't ameliorate that one bit. He's scared and unhappy and wants to avoid the place...and I'm angry and resentful that he doesn't appreciate it (and me) more...and he's angry that I don't appreciate him more...and the whole thing has turned into a vicious cycle of angst that bubbles up every few days into arguments that seem like they're inevitably going to tear us apart.

It's my birthday today. Because there's still a ton of work to do, and because I'm obsessive about it, and because we have to be so careful with our money I will be spending the day working at sandpit manor. For the moment things are peaceful, loving and happy between me and my pet. But there are weeks and weeks of work to be got through still and I'm scared. It all seems so silly when I write it out like this; why should our love not be able to withstand these petty insecurities? But when the temper takes over and the poisonous arrows of hurt accusation start to fly it's hard to see how any affection could survive.

I just pray that what seemed like a good idea at the time doesn't turn out to be my worst birthday ever.

Tia's first time in chastity

I locked his first chastity device onto my slave Tia the other week. Perhaps surprisingly, this was also my first time using a chastity device.

Unsurprisingly there were lots of details that weren’t mentioned in any of the ‘advice for newbies’ resources I studied beforehand.

I have learned, for instance, that once locked on the device clanks when he walks. Which could provide for some interesting humiliation opportunities in the future. (And another helpful soul has already recommended rubber bands for when the clanking is unwanted.)

I’ve also learned that, as with SO many things, it wasn’t possible to do it all at once. It took three days of trying at various times and in the end we just barely got it on with the assistance of ice water, gobs of lube, AND him having had an orgasm directly beforehand. Apparently the caging is such a turn-on for my sissy slut that his normally petite organ simply won’t stop swelling up and interfering with the process. And after all that awkward fumbling he only had it on for about half an hour before he got a nasty pinch on his scrotum from a bit of skin getting stuck between two pieces of the cage. :p

I expect we’ll get better at getting the dang thing on with practice. But I also expect it’ll continue to be tricky. Tia’s scrotum is exceptionally small, his balls held very close to his body, and I think the standard cock-cage design may always be an issue. Unless, of course, we undertake a program of ball-stretching; an activity I never had an interest in before this morning, and which is now right at the top of my to-do list. *wickedgrin*

Sissy cummies

Playtime in a 24/7 relationship is a little different from that engaged in by folks whose D/s relationships are part-time. While we do sometimes have full-on scenes where everybody is dressed to impress and the Official Kinky Toys get used, more often I will integrate little mini-scenes into our everyday lives. And last night was one of them.

We were sitting together in the living room. Tia had just finished a video game and I was catching up on some emails and texting with my husband. And I was taken by a whim to let my slutty slavegirl have a little fun...but in a sissy-appropriate way, of course!

So I told him to go fetch a pouf and some lipgloss, and to put on something pretty for me. He left the room obediently, casting me a beseeching look as he walked away, and returned a few minutes later wearing an ivory satin slip (decorated with a tiny pink rosebud!) and carrying the cushion and gloss.

I was sitting with my feet propped up on a small ottoman; I directed him to put the cushion down and kneel before me. When he was on his knees I gestured for him to lean forward so I could apply the berry-flavored gloss. This little act of feminization had him shuddering and closing his eyes, awash in a sea of submissive desire. I could feel the proof of his desire in the growing stiffness in his panties, pressing against my prettily painted toes. This was exactly what I'd intended and I began to caress his sissy cockette with my bare feet.

I teased him while I rubbed, taunting him with his response to me: "horny little slut, look at you...Mistress barely touches you and you're all hard and making a mess in your pretty panties. But you just can't help yourself, can you? You're just a horny little sissy slave who wants to be used all the time, aren't you? You'd like to spend every minute sucking cock and getting fucked, wouldn't you my little slut?"

The nylon fabric of the chemise was pleasurably slippery, sliding easily over his pink satin panties. But I wanted to feel SKIN. So I tucked it up and out of the way, and pulled his panties down in front to expose his dicklet. I grabbed a tub of lotion and smeared a dollop on the soles of my feet.

"Well slut, you're in luck...Mistress is going to let you cum today. But you're gonna do it like a sissy should...rubbing your little cockette worshipfully against my feet until you shoot your sissy cream all over them. And then you will lick them clean, and swallow every drop. Because a cocksucking sissy slave like you has to learn to eat cum too, doesn't she?"

I guided him in sliding his sensitive flesh between the soles of my feet, and pressed them together harder, toying with MY property. I could feel him throbbing and he thrust against me, moaning.

"You can cum tonight, my little sissy, but ONLY if you can manage to do it like this, humping Mistress' feet while she chats with someone else on her laptop. And you better make it quick too slut, or I might get bored and order you to stop. Because the ONLY reason you're allowed this pleasure is for my amusement, isn't that right whore? You're my property now and EVERYTHING about you belongs to me, including your orgasms."

"This is what your life will be like from now on my pretty little fucktoy. There'll be no NORMAL sex for you ever again. In fact, you'll be lucky if I don't lock that little cockette up in a chastity cage, where you can't even touch it. From now on sex for you means getting fucked or sucking dick, or sometimes...if you're lucky...being allowed to cum, like this, for your Mistress' amusement."

And he did.

It was wicked cool, feeling him pulsing against my soles as he shot his load. And he's soooo sensitive after cumming; I'm sure it was a special sort of torture to have me squashing it between my feet at just that moment. **evilgrin**

There was quite a lot of it too, and he grimaced hugely while doing the job. But my slut obediently licked every last drop of sissy spunk off my feet and ankles.

And then we went right back to what we were doing, hehehe!

Tia's first video!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Having My Way

I just finished having my way with tia, and I don't want to write the whole thing out properly because that would be too much like work. But oh, it was hot...porn movie hot, and there are some details that I just don't want to forget...

I started off today by dressing him in cuffs, collar, and a pretty pink satin nightie that he looks absolutely adorable in. The way the skirt of it flirts with the top of his thighs in the back, coyly hinting at showing his cute pantied ass, I just adore. I teased him a bit about how excited he was getting by it; his little cockette soo hard, drooling a big wet spot all over his nightie. One shoulder strap fell down and he looked like such a disheveled slut I tugged it further to expose his nipple. And then sucked and bit his nipple. And then put a clothespin on it. And then the picture was perfect.

I affixed the leash to his collar and led him to the playroom, grabbing his everyday boy belt along the way. Once there I chained him to the wall, pulled his panties down to his ankles, and beat him with his own belt. His ass & back got so red, so fiery hot! I beat him and beat him and beat him, teasing him about how badly he wanted it, how his cock stayed hard, how eagerly he licked his own pre-cum off my fingers and sucked on them when I held them to his face. Beat him and beat him then left him there, red-assed, chained to the wall, cockette twitching and drooling, and sat down on the couch behind him and jilled off. It was a fantastic orgasm.

I let him down after I was finished, let him go take a shower, then we went shopping. I ordered him to wear his collar while we were out but graciously allowed it to be wrapped around his wrist instead of his neck. While we shopped I continued to bring his attention to it; tugging at it, tightening it and using it to lead him around. His responding whimpers let me know that he was VERY aware of its presence and meaning.

We made several stops including at Home Depot, where I bought some lengths of chain. (When the lady asked me what it was for I replied "home decor" without missing a beat...or giggling!) Later, back at home, I had him go put the nightie on again and bring me the cuffs and chains. I arranged the chains so that his hands and feet were all fastened together, and all attached to a longer length of chain that ran from his collar to his knees.

After I got him chained up I made him walk around a bit. I LOVED the sound of all that chain clinking, it made me amazingly horny! So I grabbed the chain and pulled him toward me; he melted into my ravishing kiss.

I told him to go tweet, tell the world he was at that moment a chained sissy, and that I would join him soon. Then I fetched a black leather strap and pair of scissors. Back in the bedroom I pushed him onto the bed and climbed on top of him. I sat on his groin, feeling his cockette throbbing beneath me, as I beat his chest & nipples with the strap and continued playing with the chains. When I was good and ready I crawled down and used the scissors to cut a big hole in his panties, releasing that stiff cockette. Then I put a condom on him and climbed on.

I kept beating him while I rode him to another fine orgasm. Then I rode him some more, until I could tell he was about to cum, and ordered him to beg me for his release. He said "please, please my Goddess" with such sincerity. I could tell he was powerfully transported; he doesn't usually address me as "Goddess".

My response? I promptly climbed off his groin and moved to sit on his face instead, mwahahahahaha!

I rode his worshipful tongue to another nice orgasm, then stood on the bed. Looming over him, I asked him if he felt owned, if he felt used? If he felt like a slave, like PROPERTY? He answered "yes Mistress", and I said GOOD, because he WAS. MY property.

Then I climbed back down and sat on his cockette agin. Telling him all the while how he belonged to me, how his panties belonged to me (he was so distressed at me cutting them!), how his every perverted thought belonged to me, how every longing of his dark heart belonged to me, how the orgasm he was about to have belonged to me and how I wanted him to have it right NOW.

And he did. (And I did again too.) And it was very, very good. ;-)

Tia's sissy curriculum

I thought some of you might be interested in hearing details of tia's current sissy training protocol. Bear in mind that this is an evolving thing!

Currently tia is "studying" two subjects: Cooking 103 and Essentials of Feminine Style.

For the first subject, Cooking 103, she is focusing on salads. Mistress is trying to eat better, and tia has been charged with helping in that by keeping her supplied with gourmet salads. She is to make a large salad (enough to feed Mistress' entire family) every couple of days. She has to shop for fresh ingredients and research new recipes so Mistress doesn't get bored. Sometimes Mistress wishes a specific sort of salad and tia has to satisfy her request.

Tia is graded on each salad, and will receive a report card at the end of the term. Mistress is generous and does not mark off if the dish is less than tasty, but tia is expected to show decided improvement in her cooking skills each term OR ELSE.

(And yes, there was a Cooking 101 and 102!)

The second subject covers everything a girl needs to know to be ~girly~ , from how to pluck her eyebrows & paint her nails to choosing clothes that are flattering.

She's graded on individual assignments as with the salads but her assignments are much more varied. And while the fetish appeal is obvious, these assignments also have the ulterior purpose of training her to be more useful to me as a lady's maid. For instance, her past few assignments have been to choose, from my crossdressing closet, outfits that meet a particular set of requirements.

This not only saves me time and effort as her Mistress (a self-dressing sissy is a labor saving device!); it acquaints her with the contents of my closet and with unfamiliar fashion terminology at the same time. So that sometime down the road I will be able to say "slut, go fetch me my pink silk chemise with the frogs on the sides, and some stockings to go with it" and she will know what the hell I am talking about, and be able to obey without fuss!

There are other expectations tia is also expected to meet - like keeping her house/my studio clean, and writing worshipful emails to me - but she's not graded on them the way she is on her "sissy academics". Her punishments for not performing well in these areas can be much more intense and personal.

As I said this system is still evolving. Its present form is basically a response to two things. First, tia came into my service completely clueless about things like cooking, cleaning, and fashion. So it's pretty important to me to teach her what she needs to learn to be really USEFUL to me.

But my current method has also evolved in response to conflicts tia and I have had over these things. I need to feel that she's making sincere efforts to improve in these skills. And she needs to feel like her efforts are being noticed & appreciated, that she's getting credit for the work she does. Having clearly defined & graded courses of study works for both of us.

And it has some value in inspiring naughty Headmistress/student fantasies too. ;D

Under Her Thumb

I've described my enslavement to Mistress as being "far down the rabbit hole".  I'm not sure how deep this goes.  The more we are together, the more I feel her wrap me in chains of love and submission that grow ever tighter, much to my delight.

Let me illustrate this by telling you about a weekend not too long ago...

First off I guess I should get into the current 'ground rules'.  I am currently being punished by being kept in total chastity, with no release at all for my poor aching cockette (Mistress's word for my you-know-what).  This is because I was a bad girl, on purpose, and skipped wearing panties underneath my clothes. I had, to me, good reason. I wasn't trying to be naughty or to blow off Mistress--I was doing very physical labor at work that week, wearing shorts that keep falling off my body since I've started dieting. :P

Anyway...Mistress discovered this, and punished me accordingly--no release for three weeks!

So that's how our weekend started...being teased, touched, groped and fondled by both Mistress and her husband (alias Sir, alias Fr Izzy).  He in particular has been getting more and more into toying with me for his own pleasure, it seems--not just to amuse Mistress.

So we went out to dinner at Alt Pathway--its this alternative lifestyle restaurant that was over in Tampa (sadly its no longer there! *sniff*), where we had good food, watched a drag show, and I got more than a little bit tipsy. :)  Anyone following us on twitter (I am @slavetia and Mistress is @ladyerisiana on there)--we were kind of tweeting live as the night went on what was happening--must have been rather amused. :D

Mistress had me pull down my shorts at one point and show the waitress there my panties. *blush*

Then we return home and adjourn to the playroom. I strip down to my panties, put on high heels, and stand there, very vulnerable, as Sir strokes me through the panties.  He rubs my legs, thighs, tweaks a nipple, kisses my neck.  All the while Mistress is watching, tweeting, enjoying the little show. Bear in mind the ground rule I'm under--there's no possible hope of release, and it makes all the much worse!

Eventually I'm told to get down on my knees in front of Sir and beg to suck his cock, to say I'm a sissy cocksucker, how much I love it.  *moans softly* It never fails to humiliate, and Sir's cock is an impressive looking thick beast of a thing!  I service him for a while...feeling myself get lost in the submission to them both...I am such a lucky slave..

After a while Sir takes a break to have a smoke.  Mistress puts on some music, and commands me to dance for them.  *blush*  I try my best; I'm not exactly a graceful person. I touch myself all over, grind my ass, shake my hips, all the while Mistress and Sir are making admiring comments, making me blush even more.  I felt oh so sexual, so feminine--those feelings are growing stronger the longer I am their slave.

The song ends and Mistress comes over to play with me more directly...touching me, stroking me, making me ache so much...I fall to my knees and start kissing her feet. Just overcome with my feelings of aching need, of submission. This is my proper place.  I want to stay here at this Woman's feet the rest of my life if she'll have me.  I am owned, every inch of me is now her property.

I'm down there on my knees when I feel her flogger start to go up and down my back...I keep kissing.  The flogger dances over my body, growing in intensity.  Thuding here...stinging there...  Eventually it becomes pain enough to yelp a bit, but I keep kissing. 

Mistress attaches a leash to my collar and leads me crawling across the room on all fours in front of Sir to suck his cock some more...oh my... 

She then starts to rub herself against my ass, rubbing my body.  I'm sandwiched between them both, I know what's coming, and I'm oh so turned on...and humiliated...and feeling so much like just a sextoy or object there to be used by them both.  I feel Mistress lube me up and enter me with what's become my favorite strapon dildo.  Now I'm being fucked at both ends, utterly used.  But they're not really fucking me. Not really. I'm just a sextoy at this point, being used by one to pleasure and stimulate the other.  Mistress thrusts deep inside and slaps my ass, driving my mouth foward to take Sir's cock deeper down my throat, Sir thrusts back harder to force my ass back to rub against Mistress's hips.  I melt into a pool of submission, falling into the rhythm of being used.

It goes on a while...then they stop, pull out.  I feel the loss and moan helplessly. 

But then they trade places...oh god...

Sir is a lot larger than the dildo. I haven't gotten used to this yet.  This was only my 2nd time being taken by him.  It hurts...it hurts a lot.  I start to wonder if I should safeword but I hold back and just take it.  Mistress is holding me down, feeling me whimper and cry into her crotch. Sir is holding my hips, taking me as gently as he can.  He's not trying to hurt me after all, so I cry and take it and...deep down, under the pain, in my head and heart I am glad that I am being used for their pleasure.

I am under her thumb.  Forever, I hope.