Friday, February 8, 2013

Tonight's the night!

Mistress has been teasing me about it for weeks now, I still can't believe this is actually happening. My imagination has been running wild with sissy fantasies and daydreams almost nonstop, making it next to impossible to concentrate on anything else.

I don't know how the reality will compare to what I've fantasized...on the one hand Mistress is capable of anything, on the other she is very protective of me (and I love her for it) but may also underestimate how far she can push me over the edge and down that rabbit hole.

And, well, I also know how much the universe likes to disappoint me in life. I've learned not to let my hopes get up high about anything if I can help it. So I am...cautiously optimistic. Trying not to let my little daydreams and fantasies run away with me in case the reality doesn't quite measure up.

From my perspective the most delicious thing is that I truly do not know. It simply isn't up to me. I knelt before Her just over 4 years ago now, and gave myself to Her body heart and soul. I'm not 'topping from the bottom' with a vanilla gf/wife who is just trying to humor me. No, I really do belong to Her, the most exciting Woman I have ever known and she is just as eager to dominate me as I am to be dominated.

Thank you Mistress. No matter what happens tonight, I think I've already been given a precious gift. I've just had it for a little while now.

*soft sappy smile*

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Sappy Anniversary

Four years ago today, after being Her submissive for just over a month, Mistress presented me with my 'training collar' as she called it.

In one way or another its never been off since, and the 'training collar' became *my* collar, although we have not had a formal ceremony as of yet to mark the occasion.

The leather collar now-days is reserved for formal occasions or intense play. I wear a chain around my neck at all times instead. But its always around my heart.

Even during the worst of times. We've had a lot of ups and downs over four years...especially 2012, where thanks to problems at my job (which continue to this day) and the crappy economy, we had to give up the house which was her studio and my home. So much tears and hurt...but it is outweighed by far, by the love and joy in our lives.

It is our bedrock. We've weathered the storms of finances and bad luck and ill health and all the slings and arrows this world throws our way so far.

And I am still madly, deeply in love with this powerful, beautiful, intelligent and funny woman, and I am still in awe of the depth of her loving, caring heart. I am truly blessed to be loved by her, and made a part of her family with her lovely sweet husband who has welcomed me into their lives.

(Thank you Sir. I know it wasn't easy. XXX)

There are times when I've been at a low point, especially in this past year where I have examined and reexamined my life and didn't like what I saw. I'm about to turn 40, unmarried and childless. Not that I ever wanted kids but at this point in a man's life its What is Expected. Still dirt poor at the bottom rung of my chosen career and not going anywhere anytime soon.

But those dark thoughts pass. They always do. Because I am the loved and collared slave of Mistress Erisiana Cherie.

Life doesn't suck. :)

Happy Anniversary Mistress. I love you so.

Thank you for bringing me into your life.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

The Perfect Cure for a Mid-Life Crisis

In two weeks I turn 40.

Now, normally, in the otherwise normal course of events this would probably lead to me going all angsty and doing the whole mid-life crisis thing about going over the hill and its all downhill from here and what have I done with my life etc etc yada yada yada.

But it also means something else.

It means Mistress is throwing me a birthday party.

Exhibit A. This is what happened last year.

Exhibit B. Mistress has posted the following to Fetlife and possibly a few other places recently:

It's my slave tia's (Jesterslave here on Fetlife) 40th birthday and I mean to make one of his wildest dreams come true by hosting a sissy slumber party. If you're a dominant woman (trans or cis), submissive sissy, or femdom couple I'd love to welcome you for a night of unforgettable fun.
The party will be held on Feb 8th at a local (St Pete) hotel. Exact location info will be shared with attendees via more private channels.
There will be munchies and games, and of course space for you to change into your feminine frills. (I may be able to provide clothes etc for those that don't have their own; please inquire in advance if you need this.) But be aware - this is NOT your average kink scene meet & greet. I prefer to skip the small talk and jump straight to the naughty business! ;D

Oh. My. God.

Mistress has also told me that she has indeed received several responses from a few other Femdom-sissy couples, about 4-5 other sissies, and 1-2 dominant Tgirls.

Oh. My. God. *shivers*

The possibilities....even if only half of those people turn up...my god...

Its been kind of difficult as I'm sure you can imagine to think about mid-life crisis stuff. As well as think about anything else really, for that matter. No more concentrating on work or reading a book or what's on TV for me, no sir, my mind is filled with the most erotic sissy dreams instead...ohhhhhh the days are passing so slowly.

To quote the great Tim Curry, "I see you shiver with antici..........................pation...."

You know what this means, don't you?

It means I need to figure out how to have more than one birthday a year. ;p

More to come/cum, obviously....lol......

(my god!)

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Smitten Sissy

Last night I was feminized by Mistress, full makeup, skimpy lingerie garters & stockings.

As I was still smooth from bodyshaving the other day it felt so incredible on my skin...it had been too long...felt so pretty...felt so slutty!

My cockette was tucked away in its oh-so-dangerously-tight-feeling chastity cage, not having a role to play the entire night other than add to my frustration.

After giving her a long pedicure she had me get in bed on all fours, then she put me in shackles before putting on her strap-on, which I was forced to lick and suck before she took my sissy ass...

It was...wonderful. Its almost frightening in a 'oh my god how far am I falling down the rabbit hole' sense as to how much she has trained me to her cock this past year...my body welcomes it...responds to it...aches for it...it no longer matters if I have a typical 'male' orgasm or not...I just want to be Her sissy bitch, I just want to surrender to it, give my body to her to use as long or as hard as she wishes, to beg for it like a wanton whore...

*shivers*

Part of my normal slave rules is to write her a thank you letter after every time she uses me. Here is what I wrote this morning:

Thank you Mistress, for taking the time to feminize me so beautifully and allowing me to please you, both with my mouth as well as my sissy ass. It felt so incredible to be fucked by you last night, with my cockette trapped in its little cage I felt like I could be fucked for hours and hours and ached for it, wanting to be made your sissy bitch and just taken and taken over and over again until you came multiple times....

Pity we were too tired for that, I think. ;)

Still squirming and aching today...spent all night all dressed up and made up and in shackles, I didn't even take the makeup off my face until just this morning...

I wanted to stay your pretty pet...

--your squirmy and totally smitten pet

Monday, November 5, 2012

VOTE MISTRESS


This Election Day, there can be only ONE choice:

VOTE MISTRESS

Mistress's opponent is for big business, industry pollution, shipping our jobs overseas, taking candy from children & kicking pregnant women.

MISTRESS is for spankings, corporal punishment, domination & humiliation, body worship & buffalo wings for all.

MISTRESS's opponent is a wall street insider commie fag homophobic warmongering soft on terrorism junkie who watches reality TV shows.

MISTRESS is for mom, apple pie, unabashed hedonism, freedom for all except those she enslaves, recreational drugs on demand.
And puppies.

MISTRESS's opponent kicks puppies. And small children.

MISTRESS's opponent shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. He steals from the give-a-penny/take-a-penny jar. And listens to Air Supply.

MISTRESS is for health care for all, raising the minimum wage/standards of living, really good ice cream & finding the perfect pair of shoes.

MISTRESS plans to safeguard our national defense by installing ninja pirate Chuck Norris giant robots on our borders.

MISTRESS's opponent can see Russia right outside the window. But lives in Jersey.

MISTRESS's opponent thinks 47% of the people are freeloaders who believe in socialist concepts like being entitled to silly things food, medicine, staying alive.

MISTRESS thinks 100% of the people would be happier if they just shut up and did whatever she commanded.

MISTRESS is for clean energy, saving the planet, getting massages and getting us all jetpacks & flying cars because its 2012 damnit and its LONG overdue.

MISTRESS's opponent wants us all to live like the Amish.

MISTRESS is for human rights and civil liberties. Unless you disobey her, in which case she is a staunch supporter of law & order.
And CBT.

MISTRESS's opponent wishes you all to be wage-slaves for the rest of your life without retirement. And eats babies. Raw.
Without ketchup.

MISTRESS is for well-deserved leisure time after her slave's hard labors.

Who here can forget Her stirring words, "Ask not what Mistress can do for you, ask what you can do for your Mistress!"

VOTE MISTRESS.

Or you'll be sorry.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

You Don't Need a Weatherman to Know Which Way the Wind Blows


You Don't Need a Weatherman to Know Which Way the Wind Blows

I have a bit of a odd and kinky history that goes back a ways. I spent years searching for the right BDSM relationship--that long lonely search many male submissives undertake. My own journey seemed to be nothing but a long string of disappointments, one night stands, meeting and failing to click with people offline when it had seemed so promising online, or people who always seemed to have a story or a reason to avoid ever having to meet at all. The usual bs that comes with trying to meet people online.

Thank god I'm off of that bitter treadmill now.  Meeting Mistress on Alt Com and becoming Her owned slave has...saved me from all of that. Made it all worthwhile.

Anyway...the strangest kink adventure in my life...It was about six years ago, just before moving to Florida and meeting Mistress. I had been returning to my kinky quest after several years of giving up, doing the personal ad sites and such. I had kind of given up on the idea of finding "The One", you know, a woman who would be interested in me romantically as well as a submissive. I had just been burned too many times, and my living situation at the time would have made that impossible to find anyway. So I was looking for couples who were interested in playing with a sissy slave. The idea had always been one of my favorite fantasies, and I reasoned I might be a pretty good catch---I could be a totally nonthreatening, non-demanding addition to a polygamous relationship.  Both the Mistress and Master could feel safe that I would not upset or jeopardize their primary relationship in any way shape or form.

And that was what I looked for, and after while I began corresponding with this domme online.  She was intelligent, witty, great sense of humor--seemingly exactly my 'type'.  She was looking for a sissy slave to play with herself and her boyfriend.

There was a complication, however--isn't there always?  The boyfriend was married to someone else, so this was a relationship on the side. So everything had to be hush-hush.

She made arrangements to meet me, a few miles from my apartment at my favorite Irish bar. Always a bit noisy and crowded, we could talk about whatever we liked without being overheard.  She told me the BF might be able to join us, but this was really just a meeting between she and I so she could suss me out, see if we clicked, see if I could be trusted or not.

I remember seeing her and getting all excited....yes, she was exactly my type...that naughty but nerdy look, with glasses and a mischievous twinkle in her eye. Curves in all the right places, a bit overweight but not excessively so.

We talked pleasantly for probably a half hour or so. I'm sure I was shy and awkward--I always am when meeting someone. But apparently it wasn't a deal breaker because she told me that she liked me, that she saw some real possibility here. She was going to tell her BF that I was ok for him to meet and, surprise surprise, it was going to happen that very evening.

But first...could I keep a secret?

Of course, I said. You know my secrets...seen my pics...I'm trusting you with that stuff, you can trust me with yours.

She explained about her BF being married. That her relationship with him could not become public, that both she and him were known in their industry and so they had to really play it safe for their careers as well as his marriage.

What do you do then?  I ask.

She tells me she's a columnist in the local alternative weekly newspaper--I had read her column before actually, and enjoyed it many a time.  She tells me her BF is in the journalism field as well.

I'm really excited at this point. I tell her that's incredible, I'm in the same field (or trying to be) myself and I tell her who I work for and she recognizes it and she seems thoughtful for a second and tells me that she and he BF could really help me out in my career, that they had the contacts and connections to help get me to a better place.

This is seriously a dream come true at this point. My head was swimming, I'm telling myself to try to not let my hopes get up so high but at this point I'm thinking I might just have won the lottery in my kinky relationship quest and this is going to change my entire life for the better.

She gets a text and tells me her BF is about to arrive. "My boyfriend...you might recognize him. But please don't say anything."

I assure her I won't.

And then he comes in, and sits next to her with a big, familiar smile. Holy shit. I DO know this guy.  Its the weatherman from Channel X.

And at this point I need to interject here: I'm not going to say what TV channel, or even what city he's from. While on the one hand I do not owe him or her anything now, a promise is still a promise. And he's still on the air, every weeknight at 6 and 11.

They hug and exchange secret smiles to each other and he asks her if I'm a good candidate to play with them. She tells him that I am, and she is really looking forward to playing with us both.  There's no time like the present, he says. He only has a little bit before having to go back to the station to get ready for the 11 o'clock newscast. She grins at that, and orders me to get up and follow them outside to the parking lot.

I'm utterly utterly gobsmacked at this point, but I obey.  Holy fuck.

We get inside his SUV towards the back of the parking lot, he gets in the backseat, I'm ordered to kneel on the floor next to him, she sits up front but within reaching distance of both him and I.

Kiss his crotch, she says. Meet your new Master.

I'm all gooey and submissive and feeling myself fall deep for both of them at this point...I'm not wearing a stitch of female clothes on me but my inner slavegirl just comes out and I just mellllt and soon enough I'm obediently unbuckling his pants and kissing and sucking his cock while her hands are in my hair forcing me on it while the two of them are kissing and holy shit i'm in a suv out in public in a parking lot and i'm sucking the cock of the weather guy from channel x!!!!

Flashing in my mind at this utterly bizarre and absurd moment was a quote from "Saving Private Ryan", of all things.

"Sergeant, we have crossed some strange boundary here. The world has taken a turn for the surreal.."  

Now..I know TV weathermen, news anchors and so forth are not A or even B-level celebrities.  They are C-level at best, known only at a local level and that to anyone outside of the broadcast area Mr. WeatherDom's real name would be meaningless. I'm still not going to reveal the name but I think you as the reader here of my sordid little tale, to best appreciate the topsy turvy state of mind I was in should try to imagine yourself in a parked car having carnal relations with your local celebrity weatherman within 15 minutes of meeting said celebrity after seeing the guy on TV for years telling you your day is going to be partly cloudy and mild.

Back to the scene....its so hot...one of the hottest experiences I've ever had...  She plays with herself as they kiss, as her hands guide me on his cock...he cums in my mouth and I'm in such a state of shock it doesn't dawn on me til later that this too, is another first in my life and I was too far gone to even gag on it.

Everyone rests a few minutes....then he zips up, tells she and I how great that was, have to do it again soon and he's off to the station for his broadcast. She makes her goodbye as well, tells me how thrilled she was at my obedience and that we would be getting together again real soon.

I drive home, dazed, laughing out loud at the absurdity of it as well as the sheer delight of it! And I turn on Channel X's 11 o'clock news with his taste still on my lips and watch WeatherDom doing the 5-Day with that smile and and not a hint in his delivery that he had just had a sordid 3-way with his gf and their new male slave not more than 2 hours ago. 

Life has taken a turn for the surreal. Yes indeedy.


I had one more encounter with them, not long after. Another really hot scene, where she had fully femmed me in my apartment and he had arrived and I got to serve them both en femme, this time fluffing him ready before he fucked her on my bed and getting to orally worship her to several orgasms after he had gone.

Things seemed perfect. She and I continued to talk online, on the phone, I felt as if things were only going to get better and better.

And one day, out of the blue, she just...stopped writing me back.  Not even a goodbye or an explanation.

I was crushed.  I agonized over what I might have done or said to have caused this. Did I say something wrong? Worse...did he find me so unappealing and ugly en femme that he had told her to break it off with me?

Its only now, years later that I can objectively add another possibility to what happened--that their relationship as BF-GF was broken off, or put on the shelf for a while because of his marriage and that I really wasn't rejected at all.  Still...if that was the case...they should have told me. :(

In a way, maybe things happen for a reason after all. It was the heartbreak over this apparently-perfect kink-and-professional relationship going belly up without explanation that was the impetus behind my decision to say fuck it, my life in this city isnt going anywhere, my career will never advance here and I will never meet anyone, why not just up and move to Florida where I can at least be warm year round and goto the beach.

And so I did. Moved down in 2007 and in December of 2008 I met Mistress. :)

And she has made me Hers. And loves me, has kept me. Has shown no sign at all of wanting to ever let me go or just disappear on me as so many others have in my life.  No, my career has never taken off and has even gotten worse than it did before and I've barely got two nickels to rub together but...with Mistress, none of that really matters.  I'm happy, the happiest I have ever been.

I am the owned slave of Lady Erisiana Cherie. And I am content.